Nurturing the Nurturer – Relationships and Support
One day I was with a friend of mine whose job is to counsel others and help them figure out what they want to do in life. As we visited, I took one look at her and asked, “Is anyone nurturing you?” I explained to her that she counsels and “nurtures” others all day long. She’s raised daughters and “nurtured” them for at least their first 20 years. I’m sure her husband gets “nurtured” by her as well. So WHO is nurturing this nurturer? Her answer was an “ah ha” moment when she sighed and said, “No one and I’m so tired.” I’ve written many articles about women needing to get back to sewing or tea circles, relationship building, nurturing time, etc. Because of this I coined the phrase, FREE TIME/ME TIME. In my seminar entitled, “Conquering Burnout Through Proper Time Management,” I talk about scheduling FREE TIME/ME TIME to help you regenerate your spirit.
I guess there’s just not enough time in today’s busy world for most women to be nurtured, or is there? There are many articles out there that talk about the problem and give women something they can relate to. However, I can’t recall seeing any that give actual solutions to “how to” take that time away from stress, how to nurture yourself, yet alone have time with a spouse, significant other, or family member. Many of these articles tell the over exhausted moms to hire a baby sitter, or the dads to take time off to be with the moms. I’ve also read about joining playgroups or clubs. But most of the moms I know can’t afford to hire a sitter often enough to make a difference. After all, they are home so they can be with their children. That means that they’re giving up that second income needed to enable them to hire a babysitter for date night or night out with friends.
Then there are the women who don’t have children at home. So they end up working day and night and/or taking care of other family members.
You are allowed to take time out for YOU, whether you’re a mom or not! PLAN time for yourself:
If you have children:
1. Swap children with another family once per month. You’re children will love the company of other kids.
2. Set up a schedule with grandparents once per month. If you don’t have grandparents or ones who will oblige, adopt one.
3. Find a local home schooling group and see if you can get some of the teens to help out. Some might actually do it for free.
4. Get up when the kids are still sleeping or stay up after they’re in bed, ASLEEP at night. Schedule your free time/me time during their sleeping hours. Just do it once per week to give you your regeneration time. You probably can’t do it every morning or evening if you have active children.
5. How many activities are you children involved in? How many activities are YOU involved in? Cut them back. Your children will probably love you for it. Too much activity can damage relationships.
6. I used to set up a movie day with popcorn, sandwiches and drinks. This gave me 2 – 4 hours of “free time/me time”. I was able to read a book or write letters during this time.
If you do or don’t have children:
7. Invite a friend or relative to lunch or someplace that is relaxing.
8. Go to a movie alone! Have you ever gone to a movie alone? I did! And I am NOT a loaner at ALL! But there was no one complaining that they didn’t like the movie, or that I picked a boring one. There was no one else’s hand in the popcorn when I went to get another mouthful. It was so peaceful!
9. Join a group or club for an activity you enjoy. It probably meets at the same time each week or month. This will help you find others who have a similar interest as you.
Finding time for yourself to nurture and build relationships is a key factor in health and healing.
Copyright © 2002 – 2004 Susie Glennan
All Rights Reserved.