Dancing With My Daughter – Mother Daughter Relationship
The three months of October, November, and December are when homecoming and winter formal dances take place. One of the most exciting times in a girl’s life is her first formal dance. But there’s another dance that will take place during this time as well. It’s the dance of mother and daughter. The “Mother Daughter Relationship” is really a dance. Sometimes the two of you are in sync and sometimes it’s something else.
Most girls don’t have an array of fancy clothes in their closet, so this is an opportunity for mother and daughter to find a dress. In the case of this mother and daughter, we hit the antique and second hand stores for unique and beautiful items. My daughter and I found an elegant evening gown for her first homecoming dance at a second hand store. She was thrilled to look so glamorous and classy.
Finding gems from days gone by is such a great way to talk with your daughter about your teen years. Relating to good and bad times is what brings you closer together. I remember a story my friend told me. When Katy was 15 her mother loaned her a long strand of black ebony beads. She was warned to treat them with great care. While she was twisting the night away, the strand broke and ebony beads scattered across the dance floor. All of a sudden, everyone stopped in their tracks, got on hands and knees and helped to gather up the precious black beads.
Relating life experiences to your daughter can help her relate to you as a real person having lived in her shoes. However, this can be taken a bit too far, so make it a once in a while special time instead the same old story about “walking 10 miles up the hill in the snow both ways” type of thing.
While you’re at the antique or second hand store you might try drawing your daughter into the moment by having her tell you who she thinks may have worn that gorgeous old broach you’re looking at. Or perhaps both of you could try on some boas or jewelry and fantasize about the places you could wear them? These are the types of discussions that build upon the mother daughter relationship that many women and girls long for.
We were blessed by having four friends show up at different times of the day with their own unique jewelry for my daughter to try on. She enjoyed every minute of it and learned more about her tastes.
It was a great chance for us to spend quality time together and gave us a break from the frictional moments that are so common between mothers and daughters during the teen years.
What are some ways you can think of to build upon your mother daughter relationship? Once you figure them out, set a date with your daughter, let go of preconceived notions, and enjoy being all present. You’ll be so happy you did!
Copyright ©2004 Susie Glennan
All Rights Reserved.