Crumbling Foundation to Solid Rock Mom
Growing up, my parents did a lot for me. And without knowing, they taught me that I (the child) come before them. Now of course as a child, I didn’t cognitively understand that concept. But now that I am “older” I see that I did the same thing with my family.
After I got married, I worked and went to school a little while my husband started his career. Two years into marriage I got pregnant. My husband worked long and odd hours, so it was a joint decision (and my pleasure) to make sure ALL things were taken care of on the home front.
As the kids grew, I worked from home and cared for the house. I was a true Susie Homemaker and loved it. Several years later I learned to take one hour each day during the week for alone time to study the Word or rest. But other than that, I put the kids first in almost every aspect.
I felt that taking time for myself when the kids needed me was selfish. When in fact, they didn’t always need me. Sometimes it was a want. But I didn’t know any better.
Over the years I heard from hundreds of women say they didn’t have time for these things everyone should do throughout their week. They explained that they forgot, were too tired, or were distracted by family.
Here’s a short list of important things women skip:
4. Putting on makeup
5. Getting dressed
7. Taking time alone
9. Bible Study
I had everything in that list covered. But what I didn’t know was that I needed to have a plan just for me, something that I could continue doing as a business or hobby after the kids moved out.
Now that I’m much older, I realize that taking care of myself should have been first. It is not selfish. Think of yourself as the rock mentioned in this scripture below and it might help put things in perspective.
Two different bible versions:
I was good at juggling everything for a long time. I learned how to plan, schedule, and organize pretty much everything. I even had backup plans. That boded well for the family for a very long time. Then the dog died and the kids moved out.
It was time for my husband and me. And I realized… I was the rock Jesus was talking about. Every believer is the rock Jesus talks about in this scripture. It’s not just the home. It’s the person. We need to be on solid ground in order to serve others. That way when the ground shakes, we won’t completely lose our footing. If others come to us with serious problems, we’ll be strong enough to help support them or wise enough to tell them we aren’t able to help.
It’s the same as the analogy they give you in an airplane. If you don’t put your oxygen mask on first, you won’t be able to help others with their oxygen masks if needed.
It is NOT selfish to put yourself first if that is what you need to do to be healthy mentally and physically. That doesn’t mean to continue on your date to the movies with your husband if your child has the flu. It means that you should take time to nurture and care for yourself. It’s imperative that you do!
In my case, I should have been paying babysitters so I could continue my education one class at a time. Instead, I quit after taking two classes because I got a B due to missing 4 days in one semester. One of the kids got sick.
When the kids got older, I took night classes here and there. That barely made a dent in what’s needed for a degree. In my late 40’s I started going back to school, and it’s going to take several more years to finish. But with perseverance and the support my husband gives, I know I can do it.
You CAN go from Crumbling Foundation to Solid Rock Mom.
What can you start doing today, to give you the future you want?
©2014 Susie Glennan
All Rights Reserved.