How Much Is Too Much?

How many of you long for plenty of presents under the tree this year? With all of the layoffs and pay cuts, I worry about other families this holiday season. Yet, there are still so many with so much and they don't even know it and I'm not talking about parents. I'm talking about children.

However, as I explained to my uncle, "If you start giving the kids presents on their birthday or Christmas, they will come to expect it and then be disappointed if you don’t follow through every year." The same goes for when we raise our children. If we give our children lots of presents each year or give them what they want most of the time, they will not understand how to take no for an answer. They won't appreciate what they have as much as they would otherwise.

How many of you want to give everything you possibly can to your children? I know I do. With all that my friends are sharing about their children and with all that I've experienced with my children, I felt the need to share with other parents.

Your children were all born with their own unique personalities. Everything we do helps them throughout their lives. However, they still have free will. And it is that free will that will shock you or make you feel happy they are yours.

We truly have nothing to do with how they behave when they're older. We've done the best we can and at a certain point in time it's up to them to take over. Oh the stories I've heard still shock me. We can give our children everything, but when they get older there's really no telling what they will do with all we've given them. And let me tell you that giving my children everything only made it more difficult at least with one of them. Somehow while thinking we're giving them all that we didn't get when we were children gave one an entitlement attitude. And it's that entitlement mind set that will cause them problems out in the real world. Giving less teaches them appreciation.

This is such a fine line. There are so many phases children go through that right when you figure them out, they change. And the agony parents go through trying to figure out when to give in and when to say no. There are not always clear-cut answers.

We are thrilled when our children make us proud, behave well and listen to us. But we're not as prepared when they do things that embarrass us, go against what we've taught them, or choose a different path than we think they should.

Tips to help when trying to determine what to do when:

1. Set up guidelines ahead of time for each area of reward and discipline.
2. Be consistent with your rules and discipline.
3. Decide ahead of time at what age you will allow dating and driving.
4. Discuss the amount of gifts for holidays.
5. Discuss what chores everyone is expected to do.
6. Give more hugs and one on one time instead of presents or toys.

Copyright ©2003 Susie Glennan

Bio: Susie Glennan is the President of The Busy Woman, Inc. - DBA: The Busy Woman's Daily Planner®. She has been featured in Smart Money Magazine, The Washington Post, and others. Her products have been featured in Real Simple and Parenting Magazines, CBS Early Show, San Antonio Living Show and many more!

Susie has been happily married since 1982. She is mom to 3, Homeschool Teacher, Toastmaster, Speaker and is Author of numerous articles that have been published in magazines, across the web and at www.thebusywoman.com