Balance Question

I frequently get questions on managing time to do things on the home front. Here is one of those questions and the answer. I hope it helps you find strength in knowing you're not alone.

Question:

Are there any of you out there who are experts on time management? I'm struggling with finding balance between full time work as a teacher, parenting a young teenager, being a thoughtful spouse, and following my creative heart (promoting myself as a musician, selling recordings and developing new material). It seems even more overwhelming when I actually type it out... I have high regard for those of you committed to staying at home to be with your children - how are you doing it, especially with newborns?

Answer:

Hello from The Busy Woman's Daily Planner®

I am considered a professional on time management. Here again though… I truly believe that everything depends on a person's life experience and phase of life they are in.

Most of us are managing, but in many cases, NOT managing well. We're pushing ourselves to our physical, emotional and social limits most of the time. I've found this to be a large problem in our present day society, having spoken with so many work at home mothers, work out of home mothers, single mothers and women who aren't mothers at all. I'll be honest with you. When my new business started taking off, I felt so good. It's not that I didn't feel good about being home with my children, teaching them and taking care of my family. I used to tell everyone that I was Susie Home Maker because I did all the motherly and wifely things and did them very well. (More on that down below.) But when I bring home a paycheck as well, there's some sort of satisfaction in knowing that now I'm contributing in that other way. This other way felt more important than staying home and washing the dishes. No longer am I just my children's mom, Steve's wife or Sandy's daughter. Now I'm the OWNER of The Busy Woman's Daily Planner. I have a title all my own!

There's another side to this. At one time when my children were little, the ONLY important thing in my life was to take care of my children and be a wife to my husband. I did not want the children in daycare while I was capable of staying home. After my first baby was born, my husband and I found that we needed just a little bit more money to join mommy and me classes or get a baby-sitter so we could go on a date. I stayed home and did daycare for about 5 months so we could have some little extras. Those were the hardest months of my life, or so I thought. I was offered a job at a grocery store and went back to work part-time. The surrogate grandma down the street said that she'd love to watch the baby twice a week while I was working. I made good money, but didn't like the politics. My husband said I could stay home with my daughter. We had more children after that and I had a great time with them in the mommy and me classes, moms group, etc... I happily home schooled all of my children while keeping my house nice and clean for about a year. We were on a great schedule.

After a while, I started selling Discovery Toys and working nights at Home Depot in the plumbing dept. We all pitched in and stayed on that great schedule for a couple of years. If you have family support and a good schedule you can do anything!

I do enjoy staying home with my family. There are things that aren't easy and things that are. To find balance, I recommend writing down a schedule that you think might work in getting everything to flow more smoothly. Then call a family meeting to talk about all that's happening. Show them your schedule and find out if they see anything they would do differently. Note if you think their ideas would fit in with what you've written. And remember that bending shows that you're serious about making this work. Ask them to try it out for two weeks. At the end of two weeks if it doesn't seem to be working, come back together and talk about what might need changing. There is one thing we do almost every morning in our home and the kids can count on it. We pray, I read a daily devotional to them and then we read from their favorite story series for about 1/2 hour. Having at least one thing that we do the same, every day can really take the edge off of a diverse schedule.

(Side Note: When I say schedule, I mean everything from chores to outings and especially FUN time as well as your work schedule and theirs. I used to schedule in 3 hours of fun time together each day when my children were little. It is more difficult to do this once your children are older if you did not begin when they were younger.)

Writing up a schedule that I'm comfortable with, then compromising to fit everyone else's needs works best for me. This shows the family that everyone needs to work as a team to make life more manageable and I'm a willing participant. Does this mean that my life is perfect? Heck no! But I work on it daily.

I too have a rigorous schedule. I teach the children in the morning, run the company until about 4 in the afternoon, (I'm up and down all day checking on everyone.) We eat dinner and talk here and there, then at night I'm back on the computer writing and answering emails. Oh, did I forget lunch again? I tend to forget to eat just about every day. Now THAT'S a Busy Woman! I am actually healthy though.

Now it’s time to go and work on a new schedule. The kids are going into their teens now and we're entering a new phase of life!

Copyright © 2003 Susie Glennan - The Busy Woman, Inc.

Bio: Susie Glennan is the President of The Busy Woman, Inc. - DBA: The Busy Woman's Daily Planner®. She has been featured in Smart Money Magazine, The Washington Post, and others. Her products have been featured in Real Simple and Parenting Magazines, CBS Early Show, San Antonio Living Show and many more!

Susie has been happily married since 1982. She is mom to 3, Homeschool Teacher, Toastmaster, Speaker and is Author of numerous articles that have been published in magazines, across the web and at www.thebusywoman.com